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I’ve met a few people who have studied or practiced non-violent communication, and I was impressed.

For instance, Jake, who taught me the power of asking, “Would you be willing to do _______.” It was so considerate, asking that way, that I usually felt happy to do whatever it was, and thanked at the same time.

Or Elyssa, who helped me connect with people by stating needs and showing love without expectations for a certain result. She also modeled that adage, “Seek first not to be understood, but to understand.”

My sister, also, has studied NVC, and I’m so impressed with her ability to resolve conflicts and her empathy.

Everyone deals with other people in their work at some level or another, especially educators. Or, if you are an artist, and your relationships need help, NVC might be a breath of air.

“You might consider…” is another powerful NVC phrasing. You might consider learning more about non-violent communication. It’s been used by everyone from mediators between groups of warring people to couples to teachers.

A good compliment can sustain someone for a month. And asking good questions can open doors around the world.

What sorts of questions are we asking our students about their discoveries? A child runs off down a path. How can we best ask her about her journey to expand what she perceives? And what sorts of questions are we asking each other as fellow educators? Somebody nearby might be holding a key.

Happy New Year! To welcome in the year, I will write a Friday post about art or teaching. As this is a trial, you can expect something that you might find helpful every Friday until March 27, 2015.

A little backstory

In October of 2014, I started teaching Physical Education. It challenges me daily to think of how kids will best learn new games and how to guide them toward working well together.

I work with an independent school, and the morning starts with a meeting for all the students in which there are announcements and sometimes a presentation. One presentation was by the youngest person to fly around the world. Another was by a young female student who lived in Saudi Arabia. Sometimes the students put on a skit. At the end of each morning meeting, one student comes forward and asks us to think of how we would like to be treated and how we would like to treat others. The Golden Rule. It’s the work of a lifetime.

A great resource

A few years ago, I found an article in the New York Times Magazine called “Building a Better Teacher.” I set it aside, thinking that some day it might be useful. Sure enough, I found myself struggling to hold the attention of a large class outside, so I needed some strategies. Digging up the article, I found reference to Doug Lemov’s work. Through studying common strategies of the best teachers, he assembled a list of teaching tips called, “Teach Like a Champion.” You can get access to a short version (12 pages as opposed to >500) here:

“Teach Like a Champion” by Doug Lemov

I wish I’d known about these teaching tips resource sooner. I’ve found some of the techniques — like cold calling, and 100 Percent — to be extremely helpful, and hope you will too.