However your heart is
in this moment —
aching, joyful, afraid, sleeping —
it’s okay
let it be that way.
However your heart is
in this moment —
aching, joyful, afraid, sleeping —
it’s okay
let it be that way.
Today, on December 13, 2015, 1 p.m. at the Second Congregational Meeting House Society, I attended the memorial service for Karen Grace Kinder Borchert. She was born December 14, 1937 and died November 12, 2015.
Here is a poem/narrative constructed of things her family and those who knew her said today. Somethings that were said are included in quotes but not attributed. Others are left without quotes because they are paraphrased.
The Life and Death of a Teacher/Librarian
“She dedicated her life to kids and books. She loved us deeply and we never doubted that,” said her son Little Carl (Carl Kinder Borchert) towering above the microphone.
When her other children, her students, graduated from high school, she sent them cards. She taught kindergarten.
She was often quiet in public, even had low self-confidence at times, but fearless. She raised her son mucking the chicken houses. She was staunchly anti-nuclear. Her son grew up writing letters to prisoners of conscience and knowing the name Jacques Cousteau. After all, they lived on an island.
They put conservation restrictions on their properties. She made sure that they included the knoll with milkweed, for the continuation of the monarchs.
Her son joined 40 million other caretakers around the country when he moved in with her, right before she was diagnosed with Alzheimers.
“How did I get Alzheimers,” she asked simply, without complaint.
“Mom, mentor, friend, champion, sounding board…”
[I] promise to be present for my life, to remember you.
The microphone was passed around. The Unitarian Meeting House was packed.
“You’d think Star Wars was showing.”
“Or the Heart of the Sea.”
Karen loved her chickens, too, keeping them long after they had any economic value, long after they stopped laying. One day, she made some muffins, but used cayenne by accident instead of nutmeg. Realizing her mistake, she brought them on a tray to her family and friends at the table, watching their faces closely as they took a bite. Afterwards, they fed the muffins to the chickens. And those chickens, they started laying eggs again.
“I miss her sweet spirit.”
She never traveled without squares of dark chocolate. She always warmed the milk before adding it to her coffee. Her counter was filled with things drying.
“This is what makes up our lives.”
She traveled by ferry with a friend — before the internet, before the high speed ferry — to the mainland to take a class. So Karen and her friend spent a lot of time together, traveling. At the class, there was an ice-breaker, a round, everyone clapping and snapping.
“Hello everybody. Hello everybody. My name is… Cynthia!”
“Hello everybody. Hello everybody. My name is… Sarah!”
And when her time came, Karen said,
“Hello everybody. Hello everybody. My name is… Madonna!”
Someone who loved her, in preparation for the memorial service, cast about for something to read. He flipped open a book, to a fitting poem, as often happens when we are in need and searching. Fitting, as her partner’s favorite flower was an Iris.
“The Wild Iris” by Louise Gluck
“May we leave today more alive, confident, and loving, knowing that everyone we meet is a part of our extended family.”
“At Blackwater Pond,” by Mary Oliver, selected by Reverend Linda Simmons, the three lessons for living:
1. To love what is mortal.
2. To hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it.
3. When the time comes, let it go.
I’m sorry for the delay in posting this week. I’ll see to it that the next posts are on Friday as planned.
One of my favorite books as a child was Dinotopia by James Gurney. I love the alphabet that the dinosaurs created using footprints. I love the intricate pictures of the machines. I love seeing human beings riding pterodactyls through the sky. I love that Gurney played with biomimicry (before it became a buzzword), tree houses, flight, language, romance, adventure, an island, and dinosaurs all within the same series.
Perhaps one of the aspects that appeals to me from the books is that human beings and dinosaurs seem to be working mutualistically with each other, and with their environment. Together, they create beautiful and sustainable cities, like this one.
Part of the trouble for western countries is the seductive ease of using fossil fuels and disposable products, in spite of the hidden toll it’s taking. Global warming aside, hydrocarbons and other compounds get into the water and muck up our fish and shellfish. Oysters and scallops and clams were once a national treasure. Now there are few places in the U.S. where you can get an abundant amount of shellfish that are safe to eat right away. It takes a concerted effort to decide the trajectory of our cities now and into the future, and how our cities and towns mesh with the environment.
How can we live in such a way that we are conscious of what we take out, and what we put back in?
Look at the lights above your head. Look at your computer screen. Where does the electricity come from? Where do the minerals and the parts come from? What is the factory like where the pieces are assembled? In too many factories, the workers suffer poor health from breathing stale air, doing repetitive work for long hours that leaves the mind and body aching. Everyone benefits from range of motion. People can’t live truly rich lives when they don’t have access to fresh food, fresh air, or wild places like mountains, streams, rivers, lakes, the ocean, plains, or forests.
I’m not advocated for ditching technology. We can do great things with it, and connect, and make change happen.
Can we do better? We can advocate for better working conditions, and we can better respect the products by remembering where the parts come from. Which minerals? Which mine? Which forest? We should also keep in mind where the products go when we’re done with them, and how well the local landfills can, or can’t, keep them separate from the farms, schools, houses, and conservation areas nearby. Yes, we can do better.